I’m sitting with my headphones on listening to the White Lotus season two soundtrack romantically viewing myself as a longtime wordsmith who can dip into his personal life experiences and pull out sharp, witty anecdotes about my life with out alcohol.

However I’ve shortly found I can’t.

As I speed up in the direction of a complete month of writing about quitting booze and publishing it on Medium with the intention of serving to one one who could be considering the identical determination (one thing that has additionally shortly morphed right into a type of private remedy), I’ve come to the brutal realisation that writing is difficult.

However writing has confirmed to be a improbable launch and while the chance of me preserving a tempo with January is minimal, I’m going to plod on, worse case I shall begin writing poetry or lists on the right way to enhance your bodily prowess via a mixture of dietary supplements and chanting.

So on to my subsequent cheery topic.

I’d say one of many hidden but most crippling features of my life once I drank was well being nervousness. I really feel a little bit of a fraud utilizing the phrase nervousness as I’ve by no means suffered from any of the outward going through signs it’s possible you’ll affiliate with it. However once I look again on life with booze there was a standard theme; niggles, aches, pains, free stools (bit graphic?) all resulting in an already foggy thoughts telling me that there have been underlying points, this might at instances populate my ideas for days on finish.

An already dehydrated cloudy thoughts being served a continuing hum of doubt about your personal well being and mortality for good measure was plain shit. But for some absurd purpose I simply ran with it, and what’s worse is that fixed haze meant any decisive motion like seeing a Physician to speak about my considerations by no means occurred. And therein lies the infinite loop of well being nervousness that I sat in for years.

Don’t get me improper it wasn’t 24/7 however sufficient time to chip away. Growing your lethargy which drove ideas of not being ‘fairly proper’ which in flip elevated nervousness. After which naturally the welcome launch could be to have a drink and put these foolish ideas to at least one aspect.

Insanity.

Being away from that fog and alcohol in my system has improved my bodily and psychological well being considerably, the aches, pains and niggles have both diminished or might be rationalised. Now not do all roads level to a drastic self prognosis.

This week I lastly had a full set of blood assessments performed, the outcomes got here again as ‘regular’, my data present that 2014 was the final time I had any assessments performed, so eight years of alcohol telling me that there may very well be one thing improper however then stopping me from doing something about it. What a pleasure to be free from that nonsense.

Love

Sober at 40.